


I Love Team Free Will

by Wingsandcoffee



Category: I Love Lucy, Supernatural
Genre: Cas gets to drive, Cracky, Fluff, Gabriel suspects something's up, Humor, M/M, Road Trip, angels are currently powerless, based on I Love Lucy ep. "First Stop", circumstances too similar to I Love Lucy, established Destiel, established sabriel, madcap, reason not important
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 21:34:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3426371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wingsandcoffee/pseuds/Wingsandcoffee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The boys are driving through Ohio on a long, quiet road. The angels are currently without their power and are basically human. They are all tired and hungry and see signs for something promising. Gabriel starts thinking they've driven into an episode of "I Love Lucy".</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Love Team Free Will

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came to me the other day. It was just too funny, I couldn't pass it up. I hope I did it justice. It's not EXACTLY like the I Love Lucy episode of course. We had to keep the boys somewhat in character as they are like in canon. BUT I did pretty much compare Gabe to Lucy, Cas to Ethel, Sam to Ricky and Dean to Fred.  
> DO NOT REPOST THIS ANYWHERE WITHOUT ASKING ME FIRST.

Somewhere in Ohio (probably)

 

Gabriel sighed over dramatically from the backseat “Is it at all feasible that Sam and Cas switch places at some point?”

“Not if you two are gonna be foolin’ around back there” Dean grunted.

“Dean, come on” Sam said.

Cas leaned forward and put a hand on Dean’s shoulder “Please Dean, for my sanity. He punches me every time he sees a Volkswagen and I’m fairly certain he’s conjuring most of them.”

“You’re both mojo-less right now.”

Gabriel sniggered “Conjuring, imagining, same difference.”

“Dean” Sam pleaded “it’ll be better for all of us.”

“Cept your legs.”

“I really don’t mind.”

Dean groaned “Fine” he pulled over “switch.” He had to admit he’d rather sit next to Cas anyway.

“Thank you” Cas said, putting a hand on Dean’s thigh once he was situated in the front. He whispered in Dean’s ear “Perhaps Sam can drive later on.”

Dean chortled “We’ll see babe.”

After a while Gabriel yawned “Why do you two stick to the back roads? It’s so boring. I hadn’t realized there were still so many farms in Ohio. We are in Ohio aren’t we?”

“We better be” Dean said “considering we just left Pennsylvania and are heading for Indiana.”

“Getting tired, Gabe?” Sam asked.

“Hungry mostly.”

Sam took out his phone “Dang, no bars.”

“Thought your hair always picked up wifi” Gabriel leaned against him.

“Funny. Hey Cas, there’s a travel guide in the glove compartment. Can you hand it to me?”

“What d’you need that for?” Dean asked.

“See if there’s a place to eat around here. Thanks Cas” he said when Cas handed the booklet to him.

Gabriel perked his head up “Hey there’s a sign. ’50 miles to Aunt Sally’s Famous Pecan Pralines.’”

“We’re getting closer” Cas observed “the first sign we saw said 200 miles to Aunt Sally’s.”

“One wonders how she’s got time to be making pralines, she’s so busy making signs” Dean grumbled.

“I’m half-way convinced we’ve entered an I Love Lucy episode” Gabriel said, leaning back against Sam.

Sam chuckled “There’s no proof of that.”

“Not yet there isn’t. 49 miles to Aunt Sally’s. Gosh, those pralines are sure sounding good. When are we gonna stop for dinner?”

“Next decent town we come to” Dean said.

“Well we gotta stop at Aunt Sally’s. I feel like she’s an old friend. We just gotta get some of those pralines.”

“That’s not a very decent meal” Cas said.

“Well we can at least get a bag to munch on till Dino decides to stop.”

…

“One mile to Aunt Sally’s!” Gabe said excitedly.

“300 yards to Aunt Sally’s” Sam read the next sign.

“200” said Cas.

“100!” exclaimed Gabe.

“Just around the bend” read Dean.

“You have just passed Aunt Sally’s” Sam read. “I didn’t see anything. Back up, Dean.”

“Yeah okay” Dean did so.

“Must be that dilapidated building over there” Cas pointed “There’s a sign on the door but I can’t make it out.”

“I’ll go see” Gabe opened his door and got out. He got about halfway to the building before turning around and getting back in “Drive on, Winchester. And I wanna state for the record that I am not responsible for this.”

“What did it say?” Sam asked.

“Closed. Out of business.”

“I knew Aunt Sally was spending too much money on those signs” Dean muttered.

…

“Dean,” Cas said “I don’t think I can wait much longer. I do not enjoy this hollow feeling in my stomach.”

“Me neither” moaned Gabe.

“Looks like there’s something up ahead, Dean” Sam said.

“Then that’s where we’ll stop” Dean said, turning onto the side road.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’m hungry too.”

They pulled up to an old café or something but at least there was an open sign out front. They all got out of the car.

“Well this is quaint” Gabe gazed up at the building.

Sam put an arm around him “Beggars can’t be choosers, honey bear.”

“Whoever invented that saying needs to be shot” Gabe muttered.

They entered the café and sat at a small table. Gabe picked up a menu “Let’s just save everyone the trouble and order the cheese sandwiches.”

“Gabriel” Sam chided “relax.”

An old man came out of a backroom “Howdy there fellas, welcome to Skinner’s Café and Cabins. I’m George Skinner.”

Gabe rolled his eyes.

“Pleased to meet you, Mr. Skinner” Cas said.

Gabe put his hands together “Let’s save time Mr. Skinner. Why don’t you tell us what you have on offer? Because I’ve seen this episode precisely 197 times and…”

“Gabriel” Sam warned “that’ll do.”

Gabe clenched his teeth “Whatever you say, Shrek.”

“Well now, I don’t know what yer talkin’ ‘bout mister but we got the specialty of the house.”

“And what is that?” Dean asked.

“Cheese sandwich.”

“Fine. Four of those then.”

“Coming right up” Skinner went behind the counter and then slapped a packet of, presumably, a cheese sandwich in front of each of them. “There ye be.”

“Thank you” Cas told him.

“I hope you didn’t go through too much trouble” Gabe said with false sweetness.

“No trouble at all, just buy ‘em from the salesman when he comes by.”

Dean ripped open his packet and took out the sandwich. He bit into it. The bread seemed tough, he gave it a good yank and while he managed to sheer off some bread, the whole slice of cheese slid out and stayed between his teeth. He sighed, put the bread down, took the cheese out of his mouth and attempted to put it back between the bread slices.

“Rubber cheese” Gabe muttered “saw this coming a mile away. Hell, I saw this coming 200 miles away.”

Dean rubbed his temples “Let’s just get outta here. We’ll find something else.”

“Uh, Mr. Skinner” Sam said “how much do we owe you?”

Skinner wrote something down on a slip of paper and handed it to Dean.

Dean looked at it “Ten bucks?! For four plain cheese sandwiches?”

“Sure” Skinner nodded “sandwiches are a dollar each, then there’s the overhead taken into account and the entertainment tax.”

“Entertainment tax?!”

Skinner pulled out an honest to God banjo and started strumming.

“Oh for my Father’s sake” Gabe said “here’s twenty, keep the change.”

The foursome all but ran out of there.

Dean yawned and stretched when they reached the car “Sammy, I think I’m too tired to drive.”

Sam yawned too “So am I Dean.”

“I’m not tired, Dean” Cas said “I can drive for a while.”

“I don’t know babe.”

“Come on, Dean, there’s no traffic right now.”

“All right, I’ll keep an eye on you.”

…

Castiel enjoyed driving, especially with the window down. With the wind blowing in his hair, it was almost like flying.

Sam and Gabriel had already fallen asleep and Dean was just starting to lose the battle.

“Rest Dean” Castiel told him “I’ll wake you if I get into trouble.”

“Okay babe” Dean yawned, he slid against Castiel’s shoulder.

After a few minutes Castiel was starting to yawn himself. Luckily he came upon a sign that read “Good accommodations. Good food.” He followed the arrow.

…

Eventually he came up on a building. He turned off the car “Wake up everybody, we’re here.”

The others stirred.

“We in Cincinnati?” Dean mumbled.

“No” Cas got out of the car and the others followed suit. He recognized where they were “Back in the car everybody.”

“Cas, what…?”

“Are we back in the same place?” Sam asked.

“Unless there’s a chain of these across the country.” Gabe said “let me guess Cassie, you saw a sign.”

“Yes.”

“Fuck it” Dean said “let’s just see what the creep has. I am too tired for this shit. Worse comes to worst we’ll sleep in the car.”

…

The one cabin had only one queen size bed and one set of bunkbeds. The four of them stared for a minute and then Gabe said “Dibs on the top bunk and I strongly suggest we sleep in what we’re wearing. We may have to leave in the middle of the night.” He made his way over to the bunk.

Sam sighed “I guess you two get the bed” he said to Dean and Cas.

“Awesome” Dean flopped onto the bed and immediately sank down into the center of it. “Whatever. Get in here, Cas.”

Cas crawled in next to him “I don’t like this bed, Dean.”

“You’d like the bunk beds even less, trust me” Dean wrapped an arm around him.

Sam turned off the light and crawled into the bottom bunk, after giving Gabe a kiss on the lips.

Almost as soon as Sam was settled, they heard a suspiciously loud whistle and the cabin started to shake.

“Dean, what’s happening?!” Cas exclaimed.

“I don’t know!” the two of them held each other as the bed bounced across the room towards the bunk beds.

Sam sighed “Gabriel, you might have a point. This is way too similar to…”

“Told you! I’m gonna find out which of my former compatriots is behind this” Gabe got to the floor “and after I shake his hand for a job well done, I’m gonna give him the shaft.”

“You’re not going alone” Sam said, pushing Dean and Cas’ bed out of the way.

Dean and Cas shared a look and followed their brothers.

Gabe ran to the Impala “Dean, pop the trunk. I want my blade.”

“Thought we were dealing with a trickster.”

“Blade’ll kill anything.”

“Oh you gotta be kidding me” Dean saw a string that was attached to the driver’s side door. He took a deep breath and yanked it. Sirens went off.

“Son of a bitch!” He unlocked the car and popped the truck. “Where the fuck is my steering wheel?!”

“Oh the guy does have a death wish!” Gabe pulled out his angel blade.

“Hey there fellas” Skinner came out of that no good excuse for a café and Dean rushed at him, pushing him up against the wall.

“What did you do to my car, you son of a bitch?”

Gabe held up his blade “All right show yourself. Which one are you? Coyote? Raven? Eshu?”

“I don’t know--”

Gabe made a light cut on the guy’s arm and angel grace showed through. “None of the above I see. Drop the act, brother.”

Skinner shimmered and changed shape. He now appeared to be a middle aged blond man, wearing a v-neck tee shirt and a blazer. “All right, calm down” he sounded British. “Just having a bit of fun. Learnt from the best after all.” He nodded at Gabriel.

“Flattery will—well, flattery will generally get you everywhere with me. Who are you?”

Cas sighed “Dean, let him go. He means no harm.”

“You recognize the vessel?” Gabe asked.

“Yes. What is the meaning of this, Balthazar?”

“Well, as soon as your pet ape lets me go.”

“Hey!”

“Dean” Cas put a hand on his arm “Please, he’s one of my dearest friends.”

Reluctantly Dean pulled away from the angel.

Gabe chuckled “Balthazar, the seraph who makes me look like a choir boy. Come here and give big brother Gabriel a hug.”

“Put your blade down first.”

“Put my steering wheel back first” Dean growled.

End.

**Author's Note:**

> So as this is just a one shot, the reasons the angels are powerless are not important nor is Balthazar's reason for having fun with them. I think he just wanted to get one over on Gabriel. Please let me know if you liked it.  
> Now in the actual I Love Lucy episode, it's Lucy who ends up driving the gang back to Mr. Skinner's. I thought of having Gabriel do that as he's most like Lucy in this BUT I figured it's more Cas's character to make that mistake especially as Gabe is suspicious of the whole thing. Also, Dean wouldn't let Gabe drive his car.  
> I'm gonna stop now before this turns into some sort of essay.


End file.
